True Heroism

Somehow through my limited years and awareness I have been fortunate to witness a daring and influential power shine from many of the women around me. To have the opportunity to adequately express the power that I see within these women is a priceless gift. My wish is that I can articulate the faith that I have in their ability to care for and strengthen this race. For if not for these women, my light would be a little dimmer.

Where in this dark and gloomy mass of a world is there a glimpse of hope? Who or what could turn a place that has become a cynical and incredulous scene into an unblemished and immaculate vista? My initial response, the one that creeps out of the deepest part of my soul and wills to be heard, is that there is not one single way to make it all go away. However, I do believe in hope and that we as women can call upon change and beacon it forward.

Women merge energy and power and carve a dull situation a colorful palate of detail. Each day they alter lullabies into symphonies, and tears of pain into seas of learning. Women make the details more delicious, the tunes more harmonious, and the moments more intense. It is their feminine blessing to sprinkle glimpses of hope and use a touch of empathy to encourage the discouraged. They are heroines in their truest form.

I find satisfaction in knowing that women have overcome the odds and lifted the fallen angel. That through their touch, their look, their compassion they have reached out to numbers unknown and left an imprint on their hearts. With their quiet and unassuming way they have made this world a little more beautiful and a little less daunting.

The following essays are dedicated to the women who have so touched me. They are inspired from the everyday women of this planet who are no longer fighting for suffrage but rather fighting against suffering. There has been a shift in the struggle and women are pulling together all of the ammunition they have and arming themselves against the constant brawls that surface. Recognition for the everyday women who are turning their so called “common” battles into triumphant victories must be recognized! I want them to know that for a moment in time their benevolence is noted. It is treasured.

Each day I plant a seed in my heart. I resolve that my seed will take root, that if I can touch one soul, share one smile, help to defeat one negative self image, thought, or feeling, then I have grown hope. I have slowly but surely strengthened the force that will conquer this rampant devastation. We are women. We are strong, exotic, beautiful souls that need attention, love, and care just as any other soul in this world. Yet ironically our destiny not only lies in that taking, but the giving as well.

There will be more to come on this piece... stay posted.

Extraordinary!

This process is turning out to be more difficult than expected. I recently did a writing exercise that was intended to help me dissect my inner critics (those voices that tell me my writing is not good enough, or detailed enough, or entertaining enough). As I mingled through my mind stopping to chat with each of these voices, I found that they were all my voice. It was me all along telling myself that I cannot do what I want to do.

As this idea of not being good enough has been sitting in the corner of my mind - coyly sipping on a drink, and waiting for the right time to resurface - I realized that this voice translates into my life more than I previously acknowledged. Let me explain... today I was invited to teach a yoga class at my gym. I was told that I couldn't do it because I didn't have a recent certification. I was explaining this to someone, and they asked me why I have never taught and kept my certification current? My shoulders sunk a little and my eyes gazed across the floor as I replied that the it was because I didn't have enough faith in myself to be confident in doing so.

As I thought back about this conversation and my inner voices I realized that once again no one has ever told me that I wasn't good enough or that I didn't have a future in any of these things, rather it was myself. I am hanging onto this insecurity, refusing to go out on a limb and be rejected because I feel as though I couldn't handle the disappointment.

How unfortunate this is. If I continue to hold myself back throughout my entire life I will never make big strides, never become great, never push myself to my limits. Staying in a comfort zone is normal, but expanding across horizons is extraordinary and I choose to be extraordinary!

The Quest Begins...

For sometime now I have had a secret passion of writing. It is one of "those things" that gets into your skin and beacons you to come closer and closer until you are hooked. For the last few years of my life I have found more peace, more gratitude, and more delight in writing that I can adequately express through this keyboard. However, there comes a time in your life when you decide that you need more than what you have become so comfortable with. In a sense, it is time to jump off of the shore where I have become so lax into the choppy waters and expand myself!

Very recently I decided to enroll in an online continuing education class that teaches how to become a better writer. For the sake of my inextinguishable desire to "be better" I have decided to throw out some of my experiences into the vastness of the blogger world.

I still have a long way to go in order to become the writer that I know is inside me somewhere. But I would love to welcome you to join me on my journey of discovery. Your comments are always welcome... good or bad. Feedback makes us stronger. However, for all of you writing "aficionado's" out there, please keep in mind that I am not professing to be a writer, merely asking you to join me as I strive to find the writer inside.

Learning to Let Go...

I have discovered that a lot of the passion that is found in writing emerges from the details. It's about getting to a place where you are able to stop listening to all of the peripheral noise. It's about diving into the deepness of the moment where one can produce vast and delightful descriptions. In the words of Natalie Goldberg:

"A writer must say yes to life, to all of life: the water glasses, the Kemp's half-and-half, the ketchup on the counter. It is not a writer's task to say, "It is dumb to live in a small town or to eat in a cafe when you can eat macrobiotic at home." Our task is to say a holy yes to the real things of our life as they exist—the real truth of who we are: several pounds overweight, the gray, cold street outside, the Christmas tinsel in the showcase, the Jewish writer in the orange booth across from her blond friend who has black children. We must become writers who accept things as they are, come to love the details, and step forward with a yes on our lips so there can be no more noes in the world, noes that invalidate life and stop these details from continuing."
—Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones

Here is an example of a day at the gym meshed into a detailed experience:

The hard carpet on the floor was a mass of reds, greens, and browns. All mixed into one another in some sort of randomized chaotic pattern. The feelings that are floating around in the rafters are just as chaotic as the carpet. So many different people sensing so many different things. The elderly man on the treadmill in his sky blue shirt and white tennis socks hanging onto his calves for dear life. The woman with curls of gold, a soft complexion, and a hard body. The gaggle of "regulars" walking in sync with their shoulders flung back and their chests puffed out. I wonder what they are thinking... I could guess by the language of their bodies, but then it would only be a guess... it would only contribute to the chaos.

Each day as I search for details to enhance my writing I have found a feeling of "letting go" as I see the small things that I so often miss. The tiniest and simplest details that this life offers us, that we so often neglect to acknowledge, hold mysteries and bud simple flowers into bouquets of ideas!