This process is turning out to be more difficult than expected. I recently did a writing exercise that was intended to help me dissect my inner critics (those voices that tell me my writing is not good enough, or detailed enough, or entertaining enough). As I mingled through my mind stopping to chat with each of these voices, I found that they were all my voice. It was me all along telling myself that I cannot do what I want to do.
As this idea of not being good enough has been sitting in the corner of my mind - coyly sipping on a drink, and waiting for the right time to resurface - I realized that this voice translates into my life more than I previously acknowledged. Let me explain... today I was invited to teach a yoga class at my gym. I was told that I couldn't do it because I didn't have a recent certification. I was explaining this to someone, and they asked me why I have never taught and kept my certification current? My shoulders sunk a little and my eyes gazed across the floor as I replied that the it was because I didn't have enough faith in myself to be confident in doing so.
As I thought back about this conversation and my inner voices I realized that once again no one has ever told me that I wasn't good enough or that I didn't have a future in any of these things, rather it was myself. I am hanging onto this insecurity, refusing to go out on a limb and be rejected because I feel as though I couldn't handle the disappointment.
How unfortunate this is. If I continue to hold myself back throughout my entire life I will never make big strides, never become great, never push myself to my limits. Staying in a comfort zone is normal, but expanding across horizons is extraordinary and I choose to be extraordinary!
